


Every Reason

by rosetwopointoh



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Old Republic
Genre: F/M, Ficlet, Mild Spoiler, Songfic, That Courting Conversation, under 1000 words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 21:21:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/918150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosetwopointoh/pseuds/rosetwopointoh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That Courting Conversation goes awry on Nar Shaddaa. We find ourselves in a cantina... and a band playing "City" by Sara Bareilles. I own neither the song nor anything but my bunnies. Well, and I guess my dear Jaax'a Lannen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Reason

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't heard "City" by Sara Bareilles, I suggest a listen. I prefer the "Little Voice" album version, myself.
> 
> More of this is coming: this is a bunny I kicked from my much longer WIP, soon to be posted.

Corso sat at his table, chin propped on his left hand, swirling the amber liquid in his glass in his right. He noticed, dimly, that the jukebox had faded, the electronic synth grating on his ears fading away. A few patrons hollered and whistled; he looked up to see a group of Twi’lek take their places on a corner stage and a stunning Miralan woman move to the microphone. The piano began--a real one, not synthesized; he was impressed. Maybe the bar wasn’t so much of a dive, after all.

_There's a harvest each Saturday night_  
 _At the bars filled with perfume and hitching a ride_  
 _A place you can stand for one night and get gone_  
 _It's clear this conversation ain't doing a thing_  
 _Cause these boys only listen to me when I sing_  
 _And I don't feel like singing tonight_  
 _All the same songs_

_“These boys only listen to blasters,”_ he remembered Jaax’a saying, once. His heart clenched. She could make a blaster sing, the thrumming powerpack peppered with the staccato bursts of fire, backed by a supporting rhythm of scattergun, thermal det, the chirp of her diagnostic scan. Battle became a dance, one they’d grown well-used to weaving together. Why had he been so _stupid_?

_Here in these deep city lights_  
 _Girl could get lost tonight_  
 _I'm finding every reason to be gone_  
 _Nothing here to hold on to_  
 _Could I hold you?_

Jaax’a cursed as she checked yet another of Nar Shaddaa’s endless cantinas. Corso had left the ship alone, trying to hide his desolation. She’d found him in cantinas before on nights like this, but he’d usually answer his comm. Tonight he’d left without it.

She heard music--live music--from a cantina across the street and headed there, hoping at least for a respite from the annoying synth-bass that was so popular. Across the room, she spied Corso’s dreads bobbing to the music, and relaxed. She turned to watch the band, quickly entranced.

_The situation's always the same_  
 _You got your wolves in their clothes whispering Hollywood's name_  
 _Stealing gold from the silver they see_  
 _But it's not me_

She shook her head and began weaving her way slowly towards Corso’s table, biting her lower lip. What would she say? How could she change this? The knot in her stomach tightened; she was genuinely afraid she’d ruined them, whatever they were. More than crewmates. More than friends?

She cared deeply for Corso--more than she’d ever anyone else. He’d fumbled and stumbled, trying to express, some way or another, that he wanted her for his own--that he’d be there after any other man had gone, after anyone else abandoned her for their own pursuits, after anything but _after Corso,_ because he would be there.

But she’d stuck her foot in her mouth after he let slip the quandary of his ex-fiancee. He’d been clear he felt bad about her, but his loyalties--and his heart--had long since moved elsewhere. And what had she done? Thrown up walls and blocked him out.

_Here in these deep city lights_  
 _Girl could get lost tonight_  
 _I'm finding every reason to be gone_  
 _There's nothing here to hold on to_  
 _Could I hold you?_

Corso shook his head. _Every reason to be gone. Yeah, probably. I wonder if she bothered to leave my stuff at the spaceport for me or if she took that with everything else I gave her... like my heart._ He snorted in derision, in self-disdain, and threw the rest of his drink down his throat, ignoring that it burned all the way down, feeling it a sort of penance. For what, he couldn’t say. _Telling the truth? Fucking things up with a girl I didn’t really know but was going to marry... just cause? Things I could never have done any better because I didn’t know Seppies were going to show up and blow my life apart?_

_Calling out somebody save me I feel like I'm fading away_  
 _Am I gone?_  
 _Calling out somebody save me I feel like I'm fading_

Jaax’a saw Corso wave the server droid over; it returned shortly with another glass of what she guessed was the roughest whiskey they had, knowing Corso’s tendency towards whatever tortured his innards most. She sighed. He was gonna have a hell of a hangover in the morning. She moved towards the bar and with a series of gestures and a trading of credit chips closed his tab. Taking a steadying breath, she moved towards Corso and let her hand close around his shoulder, waiting for him to look her way.

_No, no, no_  
 _No, no, no_  
 _No, no, no, no_

Corso looked over his shoulder to see Jaax’a’s bright eyes looking at him. Her face swam a little; he realized belatedly he’d ordered a drink too many.

“Jaax?”

“Corso.” She sat next to him in the booth; he slid over.

“Figured you’d... left me here or som’thin’.”

“Leave you? Corso...”

“I’m sorry, Jaax.”

“For my being an idiot?”

“For not telling you about... all that. Earlier.”

“Nevermind that.” She took his half-finished drink and, after glancing his way, tossed it back, smothering a gasp at the burn it left as it worked its way down. “Don’t know why you drink this stuff.”

“Well... I guess we didn’t get to the ‘you, me, and a bottle of Mantellian red’ part.”

She shook her head. “No need.” With that, she grabbed his chin and covered his mouth with her own; after a startled moment he twined his arms around her, uncaring of the world around them.

_Deep city lights_  
 _Girl could get lost tonight_  
 _I'm finding every reason to be gone_  
 _And there's nothing here to hold on to_  
 _Could I hold on to you?_


End file.
